We all hurt, we all laugh, we all cry, we all smile. We never know when something will happen, something that can change your life forever. Something so profound, so unbelievable you won't grasp it in its entirety for sometime. Someone is waiting for me one day, to let down my walls. Let everything break down and tell them everything there is to tell. I don't know if that can ever happen. I don't know if I could bare my entire soul to someone and not feel vulnerable about what they might do. Its ok to have walls up, they protect you but sometimes you just have to let someone in. This I know, I understand it maybe more than some. I have way too many walls, but I can't seem to let them go. They keep me safe, they protect me from pain and heartache. Feelings I have felt before and don't want to feel them again. How can I let someone in and risk all that again.
I have too much invested in me, too much invested in life to allow something to break me down. I have secrets, some to hard to say. Some too hard to even acknowledge at times. There are some I will take to my grave, until then, they are protected in my heart locked up and wrapped up in a chain. I wish sometimes I could let it all go, let the walls down and not be so worried about things. But I can't that is just me. Why can't I just let them all go?
